The Hoekedex house rules

1. 18+ only

• Hoekedex is only for people aged 18 and over.
• You only make cards of adults. Anything involving minors is forbidden (see section 4).

2. Respect and consent

• Your cards are for you. They only live on your phone and nobody else sees them. That’s how it should stay.
• Don’t use anything against anyone. Hoekedex is not a tool to follow, pressure, mock or blackmail someone.
• No stalking or doxxing. Don’t look people up with what you noted about them, and never make anyone’s details public.
• Talk about people the way you’d want to be talked about. In a group chat with friends too.

3. Photos of others

• Only put photos on a card that you’re allowed to have, for example a photo you took together or one someone sent you themselves.
• Ask before you take someone’s picture, with the Night Camera too. If someone doesn’t want to be in it, then don’t.
• Never share photos of someone else without consent. Not as a screenshot of a card either, and not ‘just quickly’ in a group.
• Intimate images you only take, keep or send with the explicit consent of everyone in them. Sharing such images without consent, or threatening to, is a crime.
• A snap can be viewed once, but we can’t stop screenshots. Only send what you’d be happy to show, and only to someone who wants to receive it.

4. What’s never allowed

Zero tolerance applies here. You never make, keep or send:

• sexual or suggestive content about minors, or about someone who looks like a minor, not even drawn, AI-generated or written;
• intimate images of someone without their consent;
• threats, blackmail or sextortion;
• content that promotes exploitation, human trafficking or coercion;
• hateful content about someone’s origin, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability or other personal characteristics;
• other illegal content, or pretending to be someone else.

5. Games, drinks and Extreme

• Games are for fun. Nobody has to do anything they don’t want to, and a question, dare or challenge is never an excuse to cross someone’s boundary. ‘No’ is always a valid answer, from a stranger too.
• Drinking is never required. Every game works without, and water always counts. Never force anyone to drink, know your limit, and never drink and drive.
• Only switch on Extreme if everyone playing is an adult and really wants it. Whoever doesn’t want to watches or stops. Spicy and Hot also ask everyone’s OK first.
• No challenges that are dangerous or illegal.
• In a game room you sometimes play with people you don’t know. Keep it friendly, and whoever wants to stop, stops.
• Whoever makes a group or room can remove someone. Everyone can always leave.

6. Using the radar wisely

With the radar you can meet new people and show friends where you are. Fun, but it also shows where you are. So here are a few agreements, for yourself and for the other person:

Everyone nearby

• Only on if you want to be found. Pick a short timer and switch it off when you’re done. Close by (± 50 m) is more precise than Area (± 1 km).
• A wave is a question, not a promise. If someone doesn’t wave back, that’s an answer too. Don’t go looking for them, following them or approaching them.
• No stays no, later too, and even if you’ve already become friends.
• Meeting up? Do it in a busy, public place, let a friend know where you are and who with, and make sure you can leave on your own.

Friend radar

• Only share your location with people you trust. Prefer Roughly over Exactly, and an hour over ‘always’.
• Never ask someone to share their location if they don’t want to, and don’t check up on anyone. Sharing is a choice, not proof of trust.
• Check ‘Who sees me?’ now and then. If it doesn’t feel right, tap ‘Hide me now’.

If something doesn’t feel right, or someone crosses a line: block, report it to us (see reporting), and call 112 if you’re in danger.

7. How blocking works

You can block any friend or anyone who sends you a request. Then this happens:

1. Your phone throws away everything that person sends you: messages, snaps, requests.
2. Your phone asks the relay to stop passing anything from that person to you, including anything still waiting in the mailbox.
3. That person no longer sees whether you’re online, no longer gets your location, and you no longer see each other on the radar.

What that person already has on their own phone, like earlier messages, we can’t remove. You can, however, have your own Night Camera photos deleted everywhere.

8. Reporting

Because everything is encrypted or only on phones, we can’t see messages, photos or cards. So reporting works like this:

• To us: email info@hoekedex.net with what happened, the name the other person uses in the app and, if you have it, your verification code. Don’t send nude images, not even as evidence. Where technically possible, we limit abuse of the relay.
• To the police: for threats, stalking, blackmail, sextortion or the spreading of intimate images without consent, file a report. Call 112 if it’s urgent. For the police, take screenshots of the conversation and the sender’s name, but not of the images themselves.
• Help: in the Netherlands you can go anonymously to Helpwanted.nl for online sexual abuse, like a nude photo going around or sextortion. In other countries, similar hotlines or the police can help.

9. Playing fair

• XP, levels, leaderboards and achievements are for fun. You can cheat, but mostly you’re fooling yourself.
• Don’t abuse the relay: no spam, no automated messages, no attempts to get around limits.

10. What happens if you don’t stick to this

We can’t delete anything from anyone’s phone. What we can do: where technically possible, limit access to the relay, and cooperate when the police or courts legally require it. Because we have no accounts and no database, we then have practically nothing to give.

These guidelines belong with the terms and the privacy policy.